Typhus (United States Of America) – Profound Blasphemous Proclamation

Typhus is a dumb and boring USBM band that have managed to grab the attention of the international USBM scene for one of two reasons, depending on the person.  One, people are amused enough by the shocking-to-middle-schoolers lyrics, or two, people are impressed by a USBM band that apes European styles of melodic black metal instead of Kult Ov Azazel style brutality.  Both those things suck and I’m here to tell you why they suck.

First point: the lyrics suck both when played straight and when taken with tongue in cheek.  I’m not sure which it’s supposed to be on this album but fortunately they’re gay enough to suck in both regards.  There’s a mixture of pretty normal blasphemy and anti-Christian sentiment and dumb lines like the infamous ‘Typhus shits in the mouth of Christ’.  If they’re playing it straight, the latter ruins the sentiment.  If they’re tongue in cheek, the former ruins the sentiment.  It’s lose-lose for everyone except Typhus, oddly enough, who have been able to capitalize off people who don’t know any better.

But like most black metal you’re not able to understand the lyrics anyway, but fortunately the music is dumb enough to make up for that oversight.  Typhus does not sound like Krieg or Averse Sefira or whatever USBM delight is currently rolling around in the heads of 15 year old black metal kids these days.  In fact, Typhus sounds like nothing in particular because during the writing process of ‘Profound Blasphemous Proclamation’ they never really bothered to create a style for themselves because they suck.  Instead, they’ve been able to capitalize off the stereotypes of USBM being either mindless blasting or lame suicidal BM not by being any better than average but by simply replicating European styles of black metal instead.  After all, who doesn’t like being agreed with?  There’s thrashy parts, Taake-esque misty riffs, screechy vocals over punk beats with melodic guitar, but the hilarious thing is that Typhus manages to resemble early Dimmu Borgir more than anything else.  The riffing styles and drumming pretty much replicate ‘Stormblåst’ note for note at parts, and the rest is just uninspired crap regurgitated from the latest Taake worshiping pseudo-minimalist European black metal band.

Now the music isn’t atrocious really but the fact that this release is so crassly commercial manages to offend me enough to hate it.  Typhus has done, what, thirty different versions of this album?  They have a boxset dedicated to NOTHING BUT different versions of this album?  They haven’t done anything SINCE that album except for a single track on a 7″ no one has?  Awesome.  This is unbelievably dumb and roughly one step above Nargaroth as far as musical integrity goes.  I guess what I’m saying is that if a bunch of Relapse execs got together and made a black metal band, they’d make Typhus.

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~ by noktorn on July 23, 2008.

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