Zombie Ritual – Zombies From Tokyo

Holy shit, we’ve officially entered a time in the metal scene where clones of clones of clones of Carcass are popping up.  And I’m not just making shit up, there’s a direct line that I can identify that lead to this particular EP.  Carcass makes ‘Heartwork’ causing the world to shit its pants when they realize you can make bland melodic death metal and make hundreds of thousands of dollars overnight.  Impaled apes ‘Heartwork’ and realizes you can make even MORE money attaching a bland aesthetic to it.  Splatterhouse clones Impaled and somehow makes it great by adding a dose of oldschool death metal and grind ala Macabre and removing the dumb comical elements.  Finally, Zombie Ritual rips off Splatterhouse, puts the humor back in with some more thrash, and now we have ‘Zombies From Tokyo’.  It’s really one of those situations where you have to laugh to keep from crying.

It’s okay music.  I probably like it more because this is over in less than 20 minutes, after which the overbearing cutesyness would probably make me vomit up a lung or two.  For what it is, it’s good.  Zombie Ritual is pretty squarely located in that post-Carcass melodic death metal scene started by Impaled but seems less painfully self-indulgent than them and don’t feel the need to show off with a gay solo every minute.  There’s a lot of punk beats and punky riffs which point to some level of Haemorrhage influence (which is just more Carcass worship, albeit in a different form).  The vocals are screechy versus grunty and they’re exactly what you’d expect from this style of music.  I’m not sure why Zombie Ritual are treated with kid gloves by the metal scene, they’re just as dumb and essentially irrelevant as every other band in this same vein.  Maybe they’re just not as popular.

One of the irritating aspects of this release (and all of Zombie Ritual, for that matter) is how precious they act.  Yes, all their song titles have ‘zombie’.  HEH.  I GUESS THEY REALLY LOVE ZOMBIES.  Seriously, are you people fucking twelve years old?  Is this really the height of comedy to you?  It’s a dumb gimmick that’s used to ensnare people with no actual taste and it’s working so I guess I can’t attack them for doing what allows them to laugh their way to the bank.  Musically it’s nothing bad, I can put it on and enjoy it more or less (essentially more) for its running time, but I can’t make it out to be anything more than it is: fun music for fun music’s sake with no real relevance beyond having a good time with your bros and high-fiving each other at the end of a night of drinking that’s filled with homosexual overtones.  The metal version of Hatebreed, essentially.

So yeah, if you like Impaled, I recommend you shoot yourself first and then go buy this.  If you don’t like Impaled but see some good in them, I recommend you buy this because it’s pretty good at what it does and it doesn’t get in the way of better music.  It’s essentially filler though.

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~ by noktorn on July 23, 2008.

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